Fall weather has begun.

It has started to be chilly in the morning, and getting warmer in the day. Typical fall.

Just now, I got kicked out of my dorm room temporarily by two Korean guys, an ahjussi, and a younger dude who told me in basic English that they needed to spray (?) the room with some influenza vaccine. Something like that. So now I'm down in the computer lab in my dorm building. It's the first time in here. It also seems to be a study room for Korean language students.

There is one lab monitor here, who I'm sure gets the whole room to himself most of the time, because rarely anyone comes here I expect. He's in charge of the printer as well, so I might be making another trip down here to print some stuff for homework. The lab's only opened for about four or five hours a day on weekdays, and I think the door should be propped open during those hours so students here know it's available to use....or maybe that's just me. I'm never sure if this door is unlocked or not, and the doorknob's funky, and I don't want to be seen trying to open a locked door in the lobby, haha.

Anyways. Some of you may have noticed my mood changes lately, or my suddenly slowing down on the blog posting. I'm sorry, that I've fallen behind, and saying that I'll get things done but I don't.

My subdued laziness, midterms coming up, homework being actually due, and meeing people and going places every week suddenly overwhelmed me during that one week last week, and I'm still recovering from it. But more recently, I talked to my mom for a bit on Skype this past Sunday. It's really something when your mother dearest often asks for advice on how to deal with another child in the same family. It's like I'm a second mom. Sigh.

But apparently, a little brother is starting to get out of control, and my mom doesn't know what to do anymore. That plus all the debt and lack of money and a husband who never learns from his mistakes and three dogs and the house unfinished as it is, mom's just about ready to run away for a good while. There's always these problems at home that I wish I'd never have to deal with, and no matter how far away I am, whether I'm two states away or on the other side of the world, I have to worry.

What else could I do but worry?

And then my feelings of shame for my selfishness at being given all these wonderful great opportunities and meeting these wonderful people boil to the surface point and I suddenly have the urge to fly home and give someone a good slap in the face, much less a good beating of reality.

Why? Just why do I have to worry about someone who's becoming more influenced by a frat, surrounded by the horrible side of college life, who's hurt my parents many times over, who never thinks he's wrong, who thinks things will turn out ok if he just keeps doing what he thinks he should be doing?

Because, dammit, I care.

All I can do from here is pray to God that he'll take care of these problems, because I am really unable to do so myself.

These endless cycles of thoughts and emotions, my friends, are why I seem to be distant as of late.