"Oh My Friend"s, Phan Phan and Red Striped Sketcher

When I was having that writing slump since Thursday, it was after reading their most recent blog posts that motivated me to finish my previous post.

I tell people that humans get more personal and intimate when they write then they ever do when they talk. I view handwriting as a one on one moment with oneself. Handwriting is also great for notes and letters to other people. On the other hand, writing in cyberworld can be cold, and not as intimate, but it's enough to share thoughts, feelings, and emotions with people when they can't do it face to face. Face to face with my friends, we're all happy enough to reunite and catch up that we don't often have the time or the willingness to talk about deep stuff, much less share our sorrows and burdens of pain. No, we want to laugh and smile and have fun with each other.

I've done that quite regularly with my friends in Utah, ever since I left to California for college. They only see me twice a year at the most. I realized just now the only times I've discussed serious topics with them is through the internet. Through writing.

Right now I'm getting a little more self conscious about certain things. I have always shared my troubles with them, and most likely had expressed my pain with them, but when was the last time they really came to me just to have someone who will listen? My Utahn friends had each other, and while I also had them, I made good friends in California too. Basically, on both sides, we first seek out the friends who are closest in geographic distance to us. It's practical, and it's easier.

RSS's recent blog entry clutched me at the heart. I really was able to feel her frustration and her pain that I don't often do when we actually see each other. Phanny, I was never fully aware of the depths of her depression and confusion back then, even though she confided in me a little about it, and I wonder if she would ever share those feelings of hers had I physically been there for her. And I can go on and on with other friends and even family. Is it easier to talk about these things behind a computer screen?

On a different note, during all those years in California, experiencing new life and maturing further, I wasn't there in Utah to see my old friends mature too.With this maturity comes the biggest thing that cause us girls much grief. Interest in the male race.

Haha, it's true. High school's got nothing on this. We're more mature now, but we are still young. We want to find a special someone now or else it could be too late. We think we're ready. Maybe? But then, there's ineveitably many inner conflicts of emotions that drive us all to the brink of insanity, and we only want it to stop but we don't know how. Would we have to stop caring? Yes, and no.

We have to let go of our mistakes, embarrassing and regretful they may be, if we want to move on. Otherwise, how can we be prepared enough for the next opportunity that comes our way? How would we recognize our next happiness if we still hold on to an old sadness? I say (to no one in particular, really) that these battles of emotions are perfectly normal for us all. Yes, the cases are different for each person, but essentially this is really what all human beings are capable of. Being able to feel. That means all of the good and bad. Yes, that includes boys, too. =P

Huh. I'm not quite sure what I'm really trying to say here, because this post was actually meant to be about how much I love my friends, but, uh...

Well, I'm just really glad that I decided to do this blog thing. Even though I'm away during the usual semester and the only difference is that I'm in another country this time, it led us to create this deeper connection between us. I hope we all continue to write about our life for as long as we can.

And on that note, I present you this:




Yeah. It pretty much says everything I want to say, but better. =) The actual youtube page has English subs. On my facebook, I dedicated this song to everybody I care for, but here it's really for you two.

<3